Recovery Stories
Shannon:
Growing up in Phoenix, I had the ideal childhood . . . we had everything, and, most importantly, parents who were very much in love.
When I was ten, my mother passed away at 33 leaving my father, 62, to raise my two brothers and me. My father moved us back to Wisconsin to be with my mom’s mom, my grandmother. Sadly, she passed away 13 months later.
My father told me I was the “lady of the house now” and he would need my help. I know his intention wasn’t to put stress on me, but I was always fearful of losing our dad too!
At 16, I began drinking alcohol. At 18, I tried cocaine and I loved how it made me NOT feel. While others used to “party,” I used to “escape” the feelings of overwhelming responsibility and fear.
From 18 to 24, I used everything from marijuana to heroin. At 24, a six-year relationship ended, and I was on my own for the first time. I left my job of six years, and shortly after that, I lost every material possession I had. At the age of 25, I moved to crack cocaine and never looked back. I pushed away my friends and family; nothing was enough to get me clean. Not even facing seven to ten years in prison!
Several times I tried to come home, stay off the drugs, find “social acceptability” but failed. It was too overwhelming. The last time in jail, I picked up a 12-step program book and began to read it. The book said we suffer from the disease of addiction, not from a moral deficiency. For the first time I felt that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t a horrible person but someone with a problem.
After getting out of jail, I realized this was something I would not be able to do alone. I needed some help and there was no shame in that. My half-sister took me on a tour of Casa Clare, a women’s treatment facility. Until they had an opening for me, I hung on attending 12-step meetings daily. I entered Casa Clare in August, 2004, for a 90-day inpatient program. That’s when I began to live again rather than merely exist. I learned about the disease of addiction and the tools I would need to live life with acceptance and peace. I have been clean for over two years, attend a minimum of three 12-step meetings a week and stay close with counselors at Casa Clare.
I had the honor of holding my father’s hand as he left this world in April, 2006. My recovery allowed me to spend the last two Christmas holidays with him and my family, to give him peace in knowing that we were all going to be OK. Shortly before he passed, he told me he had forgiven me and how proud he was of me. To hold my head up always and not to be ashamed of where I was, but proud of where I am. I hold on to those words in everything I do, sharing my story whenever I am able in hopes it helps someone else.
My name is Shannon, I am a grateful recovering addict.
