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While attending this year's (2006) School of the Arts in
Rhinelander, I asked one of the instructors how we can tell if we're
really a writer. I don't remember her reply, but the gut-level
answer came to me shortly after my return home. I was writing and
decided to start my bath water and let the tub fill as I edited my
article "for the last time."
As usual, I discovered ways to make the article more readable
during the final editing process--and of course, my bath water
overflowed into the hallway.
I frantically began throwing towels onto the floor, then dancing
upon them to create the sponge effect. At the peak of my frenzy,
with a silent chuckle, I wondered how many writers have allowed
bath water to overflow?
For days after my water incident, I experienced flashes of "writer
eccentricities" popping into my thoughts. The following things I've noticed are akin, but not exclusive to the behavior of writers. Do you experience any of them? Ask yourself
the following questions:
- Have you ever let eggs get cold as you jot down "just one more
idea?"
- Do you welcome "writer's insomnia"-- that flood of creative
ideas that keeps you wide-awake and excited for hours?
- Do you have several cups, cans, or jars filled with pens,
pencils and colored markers sitting on flat surfaces throughout your
house or apartment? Do you put dry pens or markers back in the
containers?
- Have you ever gotten up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the
night and been fascinated by a thought you can't let go of? Do your
dreams entertain you? Do you laugh at your own jokes?
- Are printer ink, paper and your "special" pen priorities on
your shopping list? Have you ever returned home to discover you got
the book you wanted on writing the perfect synopsis but you forgot
the milk?
- People with weak bladders make sure they know where every
public bathroom is (I'm told)--do you make sure you always have a
pen, notebook or small recorder with you?
- Have you ever been at a fine restaurant and noticed an
interesting diner? As much as you try not to, you can't stop
watching them because he or she serendipitously inspires the perfect
secondary character for your novel or short story?
- Do you critique movies as you watch them; deciding what
character flaw would have been more interesting or plot line less
predictable or ending more dramatic? Does this habit annoy your
non-writing friends?
- No matter how depressed you are, does your mood lift when you
enter a bookstore? Do you have more than 100 books in your home or
apartment? Do you love the smell of books (especially old ones)?
- Does a vintage, dusty, original copy of Hemingway, Thoreau's
or Gertrude Stein's books excite you more than finding money?
- Do you buy books for the children in your life? Do you love
to listen to them tell you their own stories? Do you remember their
stories?
- When you hear news stories about killer bees or flesh-eating
bacteria or heinous crimes, are you more interested in the dramatic
story potentials of such facts than the alarming elements of the
story?
- Do you love to be read to (especially in bed or on long car
trips)?
- Are you able to embrace the goofy, eccentric people in your
life because you have a genuine appreciation for the "characters" of
the world?
- Can you write regardless of the weather, a bad back, a head
cold, hunger pangs, body odor, police sirens, ringing phones or
impending surgery?
- Do you ruminate on past arguments so you can capture the
rhythm of the dialogue for a story you're writing? Are all
disagreements "grist for the writing mill?"
- Do your friends love to talk to you because they think you‘re
such a good listener?
- Is more than 50% of your credit card balance attributed to
writing related expenses?
- Do the people you live with think you spend too much time
traveling the creative, synopsis-filled world of your mind?
- Have you ever sat typing away on your computer at 3:00 a.m. in
order to capture a new idea…like I'm doing right now?
If you answered yes to five or more of these "nasty" habits and
attitudes, then congratulations!…you are a real writer! |
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